“It’s a girl”
The doctor proclaimed
My mothers face glowed
But the others looked disappointed.
A few days later
They put the ceremonious snake around my neck
It was to teach me the ways of the world
To guide me through life
Since I was a girl and didn’t know better.
I didn’t notice the snake till I was 3
You decided to take your anger out on me
The snake, an avatar of you,
Decided to help
It tightening around my neck,
While you put the bolt on the bathroom door.
For the first time, I knew what scared meant.
The snake now had a purpose
Growing like a basilisk and
Constricting me till I conform.
Every time I wore a skirt, shorts, or showed a little skin in public
It tightened just enough to make me panic
Just enough to make me change
Every time I saw a man around me when I was alone
It tightened enough to restrict my breathing and make me want to run
Making me question every intention of every man around me
But the snake never made me question you
It never understood my emotions
It never understood that my throat constricted without it
Every time you were near
Each time your temper spiked,
I would brace myself
For a brawl or a fight
By the time I reached the age of 15,
The snake decided that I was only a molestation away from ready
So, at the age of 16,
The snake finally left me
It left me scared every time I stepped out
Always conscious of what I wear and where I go
And constantly scared of the men around me
But you,
Neither did you leave nor let us.
So, I’m stuck here
Consciously scared of what you might do
And unconsciously always feeling constricted around my throat.
Wabi-Sabi 